Mullet Hunting: A Beginner's Guide

The mullet is a legendary haircut. Although the modern mullet was first popularized in the 1980s, some mullet scholars trace the trend back to the ancient Egyptians and Assyrians. The mullet has since fallen out of favor, but the stunning hairstyle can still be found in pockets of rural America. This guide will introduce you to the delicate art of mullet hunting: spotting, tracking down, and photographing real-life mullets. With luck and a little practice, you too can become a Master Mullet Hunter.

You've heard of mullets, but you're not quite sure how to define them. Well, the formula is simple: Business in the front, party in the back. The "business" can be close-cropped, or resemble bangs. The "party" must be long, wild, and untamed. If unsure, take a picture anyway: you can study it more closely later on.

As you can see, the mullet is a cultural phenomenon that has trapped people from celebrities down to 8-year-old boys in its enticing hairiness. There are many useful websites devoted to documenting this very phenomenon.  Plague of the Mullet documents appearances of mullets throughout history.  Despite some isolated appearances, however, the mullet didn't come into full swing until the 1980s.  Many pop culture figures of the day sported their own mullets, like David Bowie and Hulk Hogan--and, of course, Chuck Norris.

Given that the mullet has become the most ridiculed haircut in America, it's astonishing how many people persist in keeping this misguided fashion statement. The explanation lies in the suspicious, tight-knit culture of redneck communities. Fashions trickle down very slowly into hicktown America, and once it's there, it tends to stick. What's more, those who wear mullets tend to be big, scary, tattooed, no-nonsense men. If anyone's laughing at their haircut, they do it from a safe distance. As should you, if you're going to emerge from your mullet hunting expeditions in one piece.

Only those with eagle eyes and soft footsteps can succeed at mullet hunting. You will face many obstacles in your search: nice neighborhoods, poor visibility, and those filthy baseball caps obscuring a potentially great mullet can all derail the most carefully planned expedition. Hone the art of inconspicuous tailing to get a perfect shot. Mullet hunts are best conducted in pairs or trios, not packs. A friend or two can provide a distraction while you're snapping that huge curly mullet. More than three will draw too much attention.

The advent of the cell phone camera has been a boon for mullet hunters everywhere. These nifty devices are more discreet than a traditional camera; occasionally you can get away with taking a full-frontal shot (see above) as the quarry might assume you are texting. Although digital cameras are more risky than their cell phone counterparts, don't discount the power of optical zoom. A slim but powerful camera can take well-lit, focused, detailed shots that reveal the mullet in all its glory. And if you're at a theme park, a Dave & Buster's, or a state fair, you can get away with discreetly pointing a digital camera at a mullet.

Mullets can be elusive; you never know just where your next mullet is coming from. To be a successful mullet hunter, you need to immerse yourself in the white-trash mindset. What kinds of places would a proud mullet-sporting man or woman frequent? Next, think about where you live. Is there a Wal-Mart nearby? What about a trailer park? Start hanging around state and county fairs, car shows, NASCAR races, theme parks, diners, and dive bars. Time and time again, these areas have proven rich hunting grounds for mullets.

When you have your treasured cache of mullet pictures, don't keep them to yourself. Share them with the world! There's a wealth of websites out there devoted to sharing and musing over the vast array of mullets we enjoy in this great nation. One of the best is MulletJunkie, which features a great selection of photos characterized by type (albino, child, skullets, etc.) In particular, this gem caught my eye. MulletJunkie also has a great Mullets Across America page that links mullets to states.

Some sites even sponsor competitions, pioneered by this site.  See their winner below...

Be forewarned: mullet hunting is a rewarding hobby, but it can also be very dangerous.  Walking around a trailer park with a camera is never a good idea.  Mullets are highly suspicious of technology and well-dressed persons. Adopt an inconspicuous manner. Don't laugh loudly or look too interested. Also, bring a good pair of running shoes in case you get chased down. The butch men and women who grow mullets are often aggressive and easily take offense. Tread lightly.

Perhaps one of the best tricks to not attracting the attention of your quarry is to wear a mullet yourself.  Mullet wigs are popular around Halloween, and come in many styles.  MulletWigs.com stocks four varieties: Landscaper, Class of '87, Trash, and Bingo (for women).  Check 'em out!